Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
