I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
