I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
