I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
