apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
