first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
