it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
