problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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