We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
its not stalking. its research.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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