Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
