yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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