Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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