I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
