Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
