It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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