so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
