she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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