Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
