How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
