me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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