There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
