All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
