If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize