I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
