i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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