did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
