I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
