remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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