i just made my gag reflex go away.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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