We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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