Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I am naked and annoyed.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize