dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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