Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
