tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
