so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
