I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
3 2 1 whiskey
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize