i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
