He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
