Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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