I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
