Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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