You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize