I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Also, beer. Big fan.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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