I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize