just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
then he tried to convert me to islam
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
