its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Randomize
