"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
