You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
