Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
