Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
