I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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