youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
A+ Viking dick
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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