Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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