so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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