I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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