Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
