so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize