I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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