That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
