So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
