ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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