I want to have your abortion
I puked a lego.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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