margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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