And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
