So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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