Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I think I am morally bankrupt
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
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