i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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