Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
